The pathetic decision by Jeremy Clarkson and his co-host Richard Hammond to dress in niqabs during a Top Gear programme from Syria (this is what passes for humour in such circles) has provoked an outbreak of mass Muslim outrage, if the right-wing populist press is to be believed.

Yesterday’s Daily Mail featured a lengthy article headlined “Top Gear stars cause religious row after dressing up in burkas on Boxing Day special” and the Daily Star went with “Clarkson in Burka gear storm”, while the Daily Express warned of “Protest fears over Jeremy Clarkson and Top Gear stars in burkhas”.

Today the story has been taken up across the world, in countries where Top Gear presumably (if inexplicably) enjoys an audience. A report in Australia’s Herald Sun is headed “Top Gear burka sketch sparks outrage” and the Sydney Morning Herald has “Top Gear stars cause row after burqa-style stunt”. In South Africa the Independent Online covers the story as “Top Gear slammed for burka stunt”, while the Hindustan Times opts for “Top Gear stars spark religious row”.

But even a cursory examination of the Mail and Star reports reveals that this is an entirely confected controversy. Not a single leading Muslim organisation or individual in the UK has even bothered to comment on the issue, still less express outrage. The papers were reduced to approaching Anjem Choudary, the head of a tiny group of nutters who are repudiated by the entire British Muslim community, to ask for a quote. Needless to say, he obliged: “The burka is a symbol of our religion and people should not make jokes about it in any way.” And the story is padded out by citing a handful of comments culled from Twitter and internet discussion forums.

We had the same nonsense inflicted on us last July when the Mail carried a story headlined “Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson sparks fury over ‘burka babes’ underwear joke” (now amended to “Jeremy Clarkson outrages viewers by announcing on Top Gear he’d seen saucy underwear beneath Muslim woman’s burka”). In that case the “outrage” consisted of seven complaints to the BBC and a tweet by Lily Allen.

This is of course all part of a right-wing narrative about intolerant Muslims reacting with “fury” to any slight against their faith. In reality, it seems clear that the Muslim community, like the writer of this post, find it difficult to work themselves up into a state of indignation over the puerile antics of a man widely dismissed as a reactionary sexist bore.